Signs of Love

The days float past. Regular routines. Meals. Baths. Romps in the park. Grocery shopping.

I often wonder if Alston even notices that I'm ALWAYS around or even if he cares that once in very long while I'm might leave to do something without him. Most of the time, he seems pretty content with whoever happens to be around. There are not big crying scenes when a favorite person leaves...and definitely RARELY(if ever) have tears been shed when "Mommy" leaves.

I know that Alston loves me, I think? I'm often recipient of joy-filled hugs and wet open-mouthed "kisses" on the cheek. Sometimes he'll glace up at me with exuberance upon finding something new or just to see if I'm there and watching. I ponder if these are just acts of general human nature and completely unrelated to the meaning that I have placed on them. Perhaps Alston is just mimicking behavior that he sees and sometimes I happen to be the beneficiary. After all, Alston is not exactly loquacious. There have not been any heartfelt proclamations of "I REALLY love you, Mommy!!!".

This past Sunday, there was proof. Proof of a little boy's love of me. True and raw and I saw it.

We spent our late afternoon visiting with friends at a small birthday party potluck. Delicious food, lovely people and new things to explore. Our friends David and Susy were in attendance too with their new little baby, Q (short for Quinton - 4 months old). As luck would have it, Q was in a very social mood and happy to let me hold him for a spell. I pulled Q close on my lap enjoying his tiny snuggley frame and scooped up a small xylophone. Q and I delighted in the chimes. Alston, who was sitting on a nearby couch, leap down and ran to my side. Alston's emotions burst forth. His face squinched up turning red and his lower lip quivered into a dramatic frown. He aggressively pulled on my sleeve while letting out a few fierce yelps of displeasure. He pulled harder, as if trying pull me away from the little baby. I put my arm around Alston pulling him in close to enjoy our musical xylophone time. Oh, no...not acceptable! Clearly, I was HIS mom and his love was DEEP. He did not want to share.

While it was a little tragic to watch Alston tango with these complex emotions, it was his first true love affirming proclamation to me. The love was real and powerfully moving (for both of us).